And Again: On His Knees, Series in collaboration with P'al Kwai, picks up after
Bud drives away in a meltdown from O'Malley's harassment.
Disclaimer. NO money. (Boy, is that right.)
Slash pairing of Ed and Bud.
Based on the movie, bound to be spoilers.
Dedicated to Nakeno for her beauty and inspiration. Konban wa.
"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the
hope of today
and the reality of tomorrow."
--Robert H. Goddard
Ed got up in the morning, and looked at himself in the mirror. He was ashamed
of himself. What if Bud had needed him? He couldn't believe that he had never
thought of that. What about just wanting to see him, to see if he was okay?
He started combing his hair back. Tonight he'd go and see if Bud was around.
It wouldn't kill him to do a little investigating on O'Malley, either.
Edmund went down to the file room, searching for the enlistment sheet for James O'Malley, a Southside Chicago, and it was redundant to say, Irish cop. What had brought him here? Why all the way across the country? Dudley had hired him. Interesting. Ed shut the thin file and tapped it on the top of the wood cabinet. Should he call the police in his old district in Chicago? Maybe there was a complaint against him that he had relocated to avoid dealing with. Maybe he was a bad cop. Bad enough to make you leave Chicago? Why had he been hired? A lot of things were pretty dicey, but not necessarily bad enough to write down in his permanent file, which was suspiciously slim. And Exley was sure his superiors in Chicago wouldn't open up to a stranger. How to crack him? Exley put it in the back of his mind, and refiled the folder just as the secretary returned from her coffee break. She looked at him sharply.
"Hi, Roxanne. I'm glad you're back. I was just looking for the file on the robbery on Washington Street. Could you get that for me?" Ed sounded bored.
"Why sure, honey, that's my job." Roxanne's hips swiveled temptingly as she walked to a cabinet on the other side of the room. Ed wasn't looking.
Jack Cooper wrapped Bud's hand in a makeshift ice pack consisting of two orange popsicles and a dirty Ace bandage."You gotta get these fingers set right," Jack offered as advice. "You oughta see a doctor." The popsicle was already beginning to drip all over everything and onto the linoleum floor.
"Yeah, I know." Bud winced down at his hand. Thank God the aspirin were kicking in. He really didn't want to see a doctor. He scanned the tiny kitchen for a towel to wrap it all up. "You busy tonight?"
Jack nodded his head and smiled."Yeah, I got a date with that sweet little cherry you were talking to last night. You got a problem with that?"
"I'm sorry I asked. Let's not talk about it." Bud found the towel and wrapped his hand in it. The orange dye began to stain it immediately. "You know what, next time, just lie to me."
"Okay. Hey, get out of here already." Jack turned his back to Bud and busied himself.
"Yeah, thanks for the help."
"You can keep the damn towel," said Jack as Bud walked out his door.
Jack was right, thought Bud. He had to get these fingers taken care of. Maybe he should file a brutality complaint, Bud thought to himself. His thoughts about that were interrupted by the sound of his own ironic laughter ringing through the empty stairwell.
Ed saw him through the smoky red darkness of the bar, reflected in the mirrored walls. He was in the very back booth, an overly made up bottle blonde sitting too close to him. Bud was smiling at her, shyly, like a child. "Oh, lord," Ed exhaled into the crowded, noisy room, no one noticing him. "Who the hell is that?" He said to no one. He walked up to the bar, feeling foolish, out of place, and unwanted, but covering it nicely. He got the busy bartender's attention and placed his order. As he waited, he observed Bud through the mirrors behind the bottles of booze. Bud was laughing with the woman. Ed thought for sure she was a whore. He didn't know if that mattered to Bud. Probably not, come to think of it. Maybe it was a plus, an advantage. He got his drink and took his first sip with a shudder.
Ed dragged out his motives for coming here and dusted them off. Bud looked fine. He looked like he didn't need anyone's help. But did he ever? Ed just wanted to see if he was okay. He was, so now he could finish his drink, or not, and go back home to his cozy little empty house. Ed noticed that the first two fingers of Bud's left hand were injured, in a wire splint. What did that mean? He also had to figure what Bud was doing here. Was Jack Cooper out of the picture as the head of the little neighborhood syndicate, replaced by Bud? And how the hell did O'Malley figure into this? With these legitimate police concerns on his mind, Exley felt on familiar ground again and found it easy to consider approaching the couple in the booth. He drained his drink and stared into his own eyes across the mirrored bar. He made his move.
"Hello, Bud." Bud looked up, startled. His first two fingers stiffened by the cast, he almost knocked over his glass as he stood up to greet Exley. Ed tried to determine if the surprise was a pleasant one. He didn't think so, and that made him angry.
"Exley, what are you doing here?" Bud managed a laughing smile just in time. "Charlene, thanks, sweetheart, get going now." Charlene looked at Exley with undisguised contempt as she raised herself off the seat. Ed thought Bud probably wanted to pat Charlene's ass as she left, but restrained himself on account of the company. Ed slid in a shallow distance after she left. They were facing each other. Ed looked into Bud's eyes, searching for the love and trust he saw there a year ago, or even the desire of just a few days ago. He couldn't find it.
"What happened to your hand?"
"It doesn't look like nothing."
Bud thought Ed could be such a prissy little bastard sometimes. So exact. He never let you get away with anything.
"I had an accident."
"Too bad." Ed hated being lied to, especially after all they'd been through. "What the hell is going on with you, Bud? The guys at the station say you're hanging around here getting drunk nearly all the time." Bud shook his head and looked away. "What's up with Cooper? Are you working for him? A little moonlighting?"
"Go away, Exley. Go be a cop somewhere else." Bud really looked miserably unhappy.
"But I'm not being a cop, Bud, I'm being a friend." Ed shifted in his seat, moving towards Bud, by a fraction of an inch. The electricity sparked between them so strongly they both felt it, and anyone could have seen it. Bud brought his shoulders down, and squared himself off, dipping his head, then looking up at Exley with a challenge in his eyes. The moment passed.
"Follow me," said Bud. Bud slid out of the booth and walked towards the small hallway in the back. Exley got up and followed him, intrigued. Ed was waiting for the big revelation when he realized he was being led into the bathroom. Bud shut the door behind them, then checked to make sure they were alone in the room. A slow swing tune could be heard, soft and muffled from the bar. Bud took a set of handcuffs from his pocket and hooked one of the cuffs around the cheap doorknob, the other around the thin waterpipe that was running just inside the door. "Hey, hold on a minute. What the hell are you doing?" Exley wondered if Bud had ever done this before, he seemed so swift and sure of himself.
"I need to talk to you, uninterrupted and in private." Bud paced back and forth for a few seconds in the small room, then addressed Ed with a pointing finger. "I don't know who you think you are, but I'm sorry, for whatever I did to you. I think I know what I did wrong, but I thought you liked it like that." Bud moved closer in on Ed, who took a half a step back, then found himself against the wall. "You certainly needed it like that."
Someone knocked on the door, hard. "Go the fuck away," boomed Bud at the poor loser on the other side. The knocking stopped.
"Bud, please don't bring this up. You don't understand." Ed moved his head to the side, looking away to avoid Bud's aggressive stare.
"Hell, Ed, I know you liked it. Why did you try to get rid of me? Why? What's up?" Bud touched Ed's face with his good hand. Ed didn't move away. A woman laughed so loudly at the bar they heard it through the wall.
"Nothing is going on, Bud. You're too much for me, there, how's that? Can't you just forget what happened? It meant nothing. Now unlock the door and let me out of here, please."
"Well that's just it Ed," said Bud, kissing Ed full on the lips, "I can't forget. Not any of it." Exley began to breathe harder, smelling Bud's musky cologne, wanting this to happen, and yet knowing all the trouble he was getting into. Bud kissed Ed again, slower, darting his tongue into Exley's opening mouth. "I want you. You're all I think about. Give me another chance." Then Bud did the unthinkable, and dropped to his knees in front of
Exley, opening Ed's pants to give him a quick blowjob. Exley was horrified at this display of submission, knowing it would cost them both, but excited in spite of all that.
He watched Bud start to take him in his mouth, quick and deep right from the start, forceful and completely sure of himself even on his knees. He wanted Bud to stop, but he couldn't say it. His toes were curling in his shoes, his shoulders braced against the cold wall. Ed looked up at the ceiling and saw little red stars floating on the white tile. Could this really be happening? Bud was so hot around him, so fucking wet, so needy for his love….Ed fought for silence as he came in mighty waves in Bud's steadily sucking mouth. He gritted his teeth so hard he thought for sure he was going to chip a tooth.
He was so alone, was Bud? Why was he doing this? They needed each other. It could never be, at least not yet. Someone had to be brought to justice first, but what would be the cost? Ed closed his fly and helped Bud to his feet. Both of them shaky, Bud rubbing his knees, brushing his pants out. Another knock at the door.
"Let me out, Bud. People want to get in."
"Fuck them." Bud looked into Ed's eyes as if to say they had all the time in the world. He walked over to the sink and turned on a tap, cupping water into his mouth and spitting it back out. Exley watched, captivated by the way his clothes hung off his frame, the way he moved with such potency. He was a strong man, a rough man, and Ed loved him too much.
"Jesus Christ, you can't keep me in here forever." Ed placed a hand on Bud's back, looking at him in the mirror.
"I kind of like it. What else can I do to you?"Bud was smiling back at him through the mirror. "You want to come back to my place?" More loud knocking, a rattle at the doorknob this time. Bud went over and unlocked the door, uncuffing the water pipe with a clank and slipping the cuffs in his pocket. He placed his back against the door, blocking it, and grabbed Exley to pull him close enough to whisper in his ear. "Maybe we can use these handcuffs. You want to use them on me? I can do what you like. Any way you like it." Bud bit on his ear, flicking his tongue along the bite. The knocking turned into yelling behind them.
Ed's knees went weak as he knew he was getting probably the best offer of his lifetime. He wanted nothing better than to go to Bud's place and fuck him senseless until the neighbors complained about the screaming. It was almost worth it.
Continue to part 4
Return To Fic Index